ANGELA – My Mother

My Mother Angela.

She was born in Great Britain in 1920. She had an older sister and brother. Her father died when she was about 10 years old and was raised by her mother. As the baby of the family she was favored by her mother and I think, at that time, there was some jealousy. Her father came from a long line of HOODS. The best know Hood was Lord Admiral Hood who fought alongside Lord Nelson. Even further back their was a “lady in waiting” for King Henry the 8th. They were part of the elite of British society at that time. The fly in the ointment was her father married, metaphorically speaking, the “downstairs maid”. Consequently he and his wife (my mother’s mother) were disowned. My mother never met or saw any member of the Hood family. The house they lived in was beyond their means after her father died however it became somewhat clear when my mother got older that some member of the HOOD clan secretly paid for her and her siblings upkeep. She had vague memories of a man, about once a year, coming by the house and after the children were sent to their rooms quiet talk took place in the kitchen and then he left as mysteriously and he came.

Note: One of the several reasons I wrote this blog was due to the fact the HOOD CLAN have blogs and records kept of the line of HOODS. My mothers name is recorded as so mine likely will be too. I wanted to make sure the facts were out there. Not the fake facts as recorded by the HOUSTON CLAN.

My mother left home at about 16 years old and got a secretarial job with the Air-force auxiliary where she met her first husband. He was a test pilot. He too was part of the British elite but when they decided to get married they were shunned from the family and when he died two weeks after their marriage she heard nothing from his family.

Not long after her first husbands death she decided to leave Britain and went to the airport. She asked them when is the next plane leaving for New Zealand. in the hope of moving there.  She was told not for a day or two, I think. She then asked when is the next plane and where is it going. She was told, Johannesburg, South Africa. She said, “Ok, I will go there”.

My mother met my father in Johannesburg and of course struck up a relationship and married. As was probably the case with many women at that time she assumed the housewife role and did as her husband told her to do. He was a very strong-willed person and I now know he was a narcissist. We didn’t have the words in those days but my mother and I sure knew how he made us feel. He was verbally and psychologically very abusive to her. I will not talk about what he did to me here because this is about my mother. Suffice it to say she did nothing to protect me. I understand her now and why she did not.

Her first child, my brother, was born to her joy. She wanted so much to be a mother.  I have been told by some that when I was born about 18 months later and onward my brother resented me and made it quite clear he did not want me around, that too I will not address right now. My mother’s heart was broken by her husband and now her son. And long after she divorced my father her son continued to hurt her to such a degree it was painful to watch. I was her ear, and she talked, complained, cried to me about her son so much and for so long it hurt me and our relationship. I therefore left home and everyone behind at age 13. I have addressed the details in other posts in the past.

Now, in retrospect and understanding my mother I have nothing but compassion for this woman. She had a husband who broke her down and a son who never ever said a kind word to her or did a kind thing for her. And she no longer had me I was off trying to protect myself.

Many years later, now in Canada my mother met her 3rd husband Dr. Bob Houston. He adored her and I think she thought she had died and gone to heaven. She didn’t know a man could treat a woman so well. Although he was a doctor he was due to retire shortly after their marriage and for the over 34 years of their marriage she paid 3/4 of the expenses. But she didn’t mind, she loved him and she knew he loved her. They had a good life and a wonderful marriage. The fly in the ointment was his 4 spoiled, pompous and arrogant children.

I have addressed on this blog many times what this HOUSTON CLAN did to her, and me therefore I will, once again, not address that right now. There is just so much a person can take. She and I had reconciled after many years of separation. I found that two people who have suffered so much cannot help each other and that separation was necessary for hers and my healing. Although I have also discovered there is not healing for so much of what she and I went through however we did come to a place where we forgave each other and decided to spend the last few years of her life (she was not 86) enjoying each other and once again learning about each other.

After her husband Dr. Bob died and she was now 89 we decided to bring her to Vancouver from Victoria to live with me. On so many many levels it was like heaven for us. We chatted, laughed, played, cried and enjoyed each other. But as time went by and the HOUSTON CLAN had eviscerated her and me and she realized how much pain I was in she got so sad. I tried so hard to keep my pain from her but she knew, as most mother’s would. All that she had ignored about what had happened to me and her accountability surfaced realizing I was shunned from the family and left at age 13 to fend for myself. She could get past her guilt and pain about what she could have and should have done to help me. She deteriorate emotionally but was completely of sound mind. She came to me one day when she was 91 telling me she wanted to die. 6 months later she starved herself to death, taking 2 weeks to die. There was nothing I could do but watch and take care of her. She believed, as I do, we have a right to choose when we are going to die and that she did. I asked her if she wanted me to call her son, she said, “no, he hates me anyway.” And of course she did not want me to call the HOUSTON CLAN. I believe these few years after her death it was the HOUSTON CLAN at the core of why she wanted to die. I knew it to be true then and I do believe it now.

This picture I have posted was before all this pain and hurt my poor mother endured when life was hopeful and joyous. She was a good person and did her best to be kind and loving and she did well at that, she just didn’t realize that some people are incapable of receiving. I miss her so much and think of her all the time.

I love you dear Mum.